Friday, November 23, 2012

Genghis' Canon


Genghis’ Canon



Genghis made formal yesterday
 A law that says gays are OK
 From his horse he sends on

a judge to Syria with word
 of this and a mandate to behead a

Sitting judge who’s crucifying
 Muslims, Kurds and Jews

The day dawns in Bukhara
  Pink moon yielding to

Gold coin sun.  Thirty-thousand, bow
 A-shoulder sword a-hip, blow out an air of

Teakettles. Genghis tells sixty captains
 The words of scouts relayed from scouts.

“Kiev will fall today. Kill only the fattened
  aristocrats.  Flay the poisoned snakes.”

Horses lunge back in silent sideswept  
 order: Genghis’ cavalry lurch

Ahead.  After ten beats, Genghis sees a
 Triangle a furlong out; ten beats more

Only a dot with a plume.  Yes.
 Kiev will fall today. 
 without a tear of worthy blood.



copyright 2012 Patrick Calhoun 29205











Khan they escape? Poem: 'Indiana'


Indiana


1
Oiled field burns high in Indiana on
Stray husks of soy

The fire spreads out of its bounds
emigrated from 200 yards beyond
the House and the Barn. In the heat, the Drug Lab separates from

The Trailer, against the law of trailer burn up first fast and total,
has split in 3 

This aftmost piece: A rocket shaped backarcwise over the grove in
green and orange onto Hwy 150: the solid
skimming along the center line, the liquid retarring
the surface, the gas lamping out for elements
to sustain it

2
The forward cabin: Spit from the Trailer, Kenny and Richard's personal palace suite off the Lab ("even temperatured” like Bob Biscuit had promised)
with a family-room-extra-bath-kitchen, sets off spinning like a top.
A handleless head eating weeds and worthy 

Bump askew on the locust trunk
bounces off to blotch a tiled diagonal for 210 feet
bores a final signature.  This any boy would recognize on July 5th, who barefoots
hungrily through his backdoor to savor last night's damage from his
upsidedown Taiwanese helicopter.
A stump!  and lift six inches high, now bound on a vector between House and Barn

3
Amidships: Die Hard I and III,  Dr. No, Live and Let Die; Thunder Road and Two Lane Blacktop; eight-tracks of Jan and Dean, the Everlys and Isleys plus tapes and CDs of the Doobies and Dire Straits and Buffett despooled, spaghettied, smashed, splintered.  It’s like a drunk tattooist has pierced the microwave control panel, couch, Barcalounger and fridge door

A yellowed wedge - "Jan and Dea'' - harpoons the drawing Kenny's Mindy
made two years ago: the House with a tree on each side and no horizon present (the 13th century not dawned in her 3rd grade art teacher's world).  His Debbie stands in an apron in the foreground with Darinda. Mindy and Mandy are at the apex of a sunny swing chair on the porch, Kenny by his open truck door

In the corner behind the fridge, Richard spilled rotated, washed up, cracked up in the liesure cabin. Centrifugal hot flashings have whipped Richard’s current temperature up to 102 during his Indiana ride.

A sudden electrostatic burst takes over the bolted-down entertainment center
and HBO's 10:00pm movie shows the Drug Advisor's kids in Traffic when they are playing casino: spinning H roulette in the bathroom and snorting an eight-ball in their easy chairs. 

Speakers connected via S-video to Richard’s amp vivid away, but Richard can't hear, what with the throb and the crackle of his ribs and neck; a knee might be broken, too. 

The weed ingested 90 minutes ago slows his appreciation.  Dryshock constricts
his throat.  The meth of 45 minutes ago speeds his breathing and panic to a
heartrate of 145, his eyes dilated, he rivets onto Erica Chrisomethin, the  blonde of the moment on the E! Network and Entertainment Tonight – the hardiest fare in Southern Indiana.

Wary to check his head after being bopped by Karo and balsamic bottles
down from out of the cabinets just above his final resting place here – does
he have honest head gashes?  And how deep?

4
Flashback 19 seconds: Kenny is asleep with Mandy when a noise starts.  
Debbie dreams of a crashing ocean wave drowning her spool bed.  Darinda sleeps with her doll entourage down the hall.

The wheeze of the second Trailer section has become a scream.  It is Frisbeeing through the slumbering bushes between the Barn and the House.  Alarmed, Debbie stiffens to rise up in the bed, but, wrapped in her gown, she has become a torqued Slinky hooked head and foot on the brass bed rails.  With the shrieking wave migrating past, she untangles and dismounts to get Darinda out of the shuddering house.  She takes her dead-eyed daughter from the corner bedroom corner clutching a Barbie.

Kenny waits near the landing. Mandy speeds by, going down the stairs with Mindy bundled up.  Debbie and child are right behind –all moving past the shattering north window. 
Shards of bare sticks off the shrubbery are peppering in, now striking Kenny in the triceps and shoulderblade.  Shotgun in hand, Kenny jumps past.  "Get down!" and "Downstairs! ... Now! ... I’ll meet you by the Truck.”  Kenny hits the bottom step of the Pantry exit – a burst a crack and a fireball shoots back from the Frisbee toward the Barn.

5
By the Truck Debbie’s screaming for Richard.  By the light of the Barn fire, Kenny knows the the Weedwhacker will flame up at any moment so Richard’s a goner if he hasn’t already burned up in the Flying Lab or the Beaker. The Barn and Road residue will inform on them. “You see that fire, Debbie? Last I saw, Richard was in that, trying to catch up on a batch of CoQ10.  The chemicals will tell on us! He’s gone up in a teardrop, sweetie. Please just come with us!  We love you -- get in the car with us – for our Darinda.”

Kenny backs up the Truck from behind the House, hits the Road turning right to Evansville to hop a Mississippi barge south. Two explosions behind them, Darinda sees out the back.  Craning, Mandy catches a ring of fire spring up over the two House they loved.  Metal siding, shattered myrtle branches rain on the hood. “Our Ark,” he thinks. 


Copyright 2012 Patrick Calhoun 29205


Thursday, July 28, 2011

Khan I guess the 2011 US Open Champion?


2011 US Open men's tennis champion. Can I predict it?

It's all in the numbers. The more the numbers, the better. The more fiddling with them, the fancier.  Fanciness will lead to concealment. From there the plausibilities are endless.  Of course, I joke: I am eager for you to understand.  To that end, I hope to make these crazy charts understandable.

To get at the numbers and what I'll conclude from them, it will take some explaining first.  Hold tight; it'll all make sense and lead to a thrilling conclusion.

I describe the performance of Roger Federer, Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic over the period 2008 to the middle of 2011.  The three men have been selected because together they have held the number one ranking in men's professional tennis from 2004 until today; by 'today' I mean this very morning.  Roger himself maintained the equivalent of this 'Superbowl champion' status -- that's what an achievement #1 is -- for five years running.

In the charts below I record results in the four 'majors' over the years, 2008 through the middle of 2011.  For a player to enter and to be seeded properly depends upon points he acquires in the year dated from the last day of the prior November.  The players that play in the four 'major' tournaments are selected by the total number of points listed on the ladder or by special selection (top amateurs, for example).

Here are the major tournaments' names and locations (plus the headers I'll be using).  In calendar order: the Australian open (Melbourne, Australia - AUS), the French Open (Paris - FRE), the Championships at Wimbledon -- really, please -- Wimbledon (London -WIMBL, WIMBLE) and finally the US Open (New York -- USOP).





<September 19, 2011 --  While the tournament has passed, the mechanism I developed and the predictions were already written; so, just to show the method, I reproduce here the results and comparisons to show how well the what was predicted. >





We would conclude from the numbers that Federer  is a long shot among the three.  Further, that if Nadal and Djokovic play the final the match will be ultra-tight and a toss-up.  What actually happened, that Federer took Djokovic to two Federer match points before being overwhelmed after Djokovic finally relaxed (at a joke he himself made that brought much merriment and applause from the crowd).
Therefor the 4.3 versus 2.3 matchup came at one point to a razor's edge.

The final pitting Nadal against the #1 Djokovic was a blister-barrage of Novak over Rafael, a straight sets victory never in question over the three sets.  A four of seven set match, taking no account of fatigue, might have gone to Nadal, as he was conceding less and less each set (6-1, 6-2, 6-4); however, this scenario takes no account of the distress he'd experience over how hard it was to win service games.

My poor prediction came down to a couple of errors.  I gave Nadal a point in intangibles, for his likely extra drive to regain the number #1 ranking.  This was a thin rationalization in that this drive was clouded over by a spoken pessimism of Nadal's I can reproduce with some accuracy, "I have not year found a solution for Djokovic."  This, based on five straight defeats.  Roger had been one of the only two players on tour to have beaten Novak this last year.  

So, I'd now replace the reductions in Nadal's chart from 1 to 0, bringing his prediction to 3.4. 


I ommited one more measure: to account for the chance of the field to win.  Using an arbitrary total  of 12.0 for winning for all players, let's complete the arithmetic.  Federer (4.3), Nadal (3.4), Djokovic (2.4)
 account for 7.0 of the probability.  Tsonga, Soderling, Isner and the rest of the field together would stand a 5.0 chance.


Interestingly, yet to be proven or even examined, to reduce each of our three players numbers by 2.0 yields a number corresponding to the coding system): Federer (2.3 = semifinalisist), Nadal (1.4 =finalist ), and Djokovic (0.4 = winner).  How this really stands up to the method might just be an anecdote.  But??


That's it.  Enjoy the charts.



The chance of each player is expressed in a prediction number given in decimals to one place, a lower number showing a better chance.

From the charts below, the chance of Roger Federer is 4.3.  Rafael Nadal and Novak Djokovic emerge with only the barest difference in likelihood to win (2.4 to 2.3).  The chief determinants between the two are in reductions and US Opens with Nadal scoring a 1 for US Opens won and Djokovic having 3 points for reductions to Nadal's with 1 point.

Abbreviations used below:
yr-maj = total for all scores for the majors for one of the years in the timeframe
maj-tot= of scores for the majors for a given year, the average
avg-major = average of all the scores for a specific major over the four-year span
tot-avgs = sum of averages for all majors over the four-years
factor = amount by which avg-major (avg of majors' score over 4 years) will be multiplied
tot-wtd = finally, the sum of all weights derived by using (factors times yearly weights) minus the number of US Opens won over period)




-->


-=-=-

Player
FEDERER
Majors
AUS   FREN   WIMBL USOP yr-maj
Yrs
S 3    F 1    F 1  W  0 5
2009 F  1   W 0  W 0  F   1  2
2010 W 0   Q 5  Q 5  S  3 13
2011 S 3   F 1  Q 5 prediction^ 9
`
maj-tot  5     7    11 4 29
 yr 2008 avg-maj 1.25 minmzg 2008 factor 1/5 .25
 yr 2009 .5 lessng 2009          1/3 .17
 yr 2010 3.2 cutting 2010          1/2 1.6
 yr 2011  3 leaving same          1/1 3
tot-avgs 7.25 tot-wtd 5.29
minus Opens 1
4.3
maj-tot  29
yr-avg 7.3
total-wtd 4.3
reductions* reductions* 0
momentum 0
intangibles 0 Prediction^ 4.3^

-=-=-  


Player
Raf NADAL
Majors
AUS  FRE   WIMBL USOP yr-maj
Yrs
2008 S 3 W 0    W 0  S  3 6
2009 W 0 10 ---  S  3 13
2010 Q 5 W 0  W  0   W  0 5
2011 Q 5 W 0  F 1 prediction^ 6
  By Major:  13  10    1 6
 yr 2008 > 1.5 minmzg 2008 factor 1/5 .3
 yr 2009 4.2 lessng 2009          1/3 1.43
 yr 2910 1.25 cutting 2010          1/2 .63
 yr 2011 2 leaving same         1 2
avg 7.25 tot-wtd
4.36
minus Opens 1
3.4
maj-tot  29
yr-avg 7.25
total-wtd 3.4
reductions* reductions* 1
momentum 0
intangibles 1 Prediction^ 2.4^


-=-=-


DJOKOVIC
Majors
AUS  FREN   WIMBL USOP yr-maj
Yrs
2008 W 0 S 3  10  SF  3 16
2009 Q  5 10  Q 5  SF  3 23
2010 Q  5 Q 5  S 3   F  1 14
2011 W  0 S 3  W 0 pred^ 3
  By Major:  10  21  18 7 56
 yr 2008 avg-maj 4 minimzg 2008 factor 1/5 0.8
 yr 2009 5.8 lessng 2009          1/3 1.91
 yr 2010 3.2 cutting 2010          1/2 1.6
 yr 2011 1 leaving same         1 1
tot-avgs 14 tot-wtd 5.31
minus Opens 0
5.3
maj-tot 56
yr-avg 14
total-wtd 5.3
reductions* reductions* -3
momentum -2 <<record
intangibles -1  <<#1 Prediction 2.3











Saturday, July 02, 2011

Khan Sharapova regain the It factor on the grounds of Wimbledon?

Commentary begins with Maria Sharapova evening the score in the second set of the Ladies final of the 2011 Wimbledon championship; more properly "The Championships, Wimbledon".

Sharapova is twenty-four years old.  At seventeen she won the title, its seemed, by waves of unconscious brilliance.

Her opponent today, Petra Kvitova of Belarus, is swinging her substantial pony-tail side to side while she returns the wide, flat returns that have been the key to Sharapova's game.  Martina (Navratilova, if I must include her last name) is Kvitova's idol.  Like the early Martina, Kvitova is  playing off the base line and goes for shots from every angle and depth of the court.

Kvitova won the first set at 6-3.  She ran out to a 3-2 lead and served for 4-2.   Sharapova repelled her and brought the set to 3-3.  Because the women play the the best out of three sets, Sharapova's serves and ground-strokes in this game could get bring her into a winning rhythm.  Instead she gets broken again.

Kvitova to serve.  At 15-15, Kvitova drives the ball long. It's 15-30.  Next Maria is wide and then long.  40-30, advantage Kvitova.   Just one point for Kvitova to win the point and set: 6-3.   Kvitova wins this game and wins Wimbledon.

Sharapova squwheezes shouts from her esophagus three times and produces three points on her serve.  With the fourth serve, she invites a miss wide from Kvitova.   Thus, it's Petra's turn to serve.   Here she must serve herself.  Two unhittable serves from Kvitova.  The third point: first serve into the net, second serve, Maria dumps into the net.  At forty-love, Kvitova serves for an ace.


Bingo. That's it: Petra Kvitova is the Wimbledon champion. What's more, she used an ace to win it all.   She smiles the smile of a relieved daughter and jubilant victor, hands stretched up a hundred and eighty degrees into the air.

The camera then turns to a close up, shoulder to top of the head, of her father, whose tears well up and throat appears to be choking for lack of oxygen.   Back and forth the lens moves from a frozen father to gamboling daughter.

Once the victory stand goes up, one final sweep to Kvitova's father.   His face is not so red -- after the adrenalin flow, his exposed skin has turned grey.

Friday, July 01, 2011

Khan Tsonga keep winning at Wimbledon?

Results of matches at Wimbledon on Wednesday could have brought the top four players into the semifinals OR could have seen all their less well-known opponents get through.  The outcomes spoiled the pattern I was looking for.  The only improbable ending was a win by Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (12th-seeded) that spoiled an inconceivable Roger Federer record of 178-0 when leading by two sets.

Today, Tsonga is playing Novak Djokovic (2nd-seeded, 2nd in the world, 46-1 in matches this year -- you can close your mouth now).  Djokovic took the first two sets from Tsonga, the first set by a width of a hair.  The loss of the first set hurt Tsonga, but the losing the second was debilitating.

Jo Willy swings his forehand like a club, serves well and hard, plays with utter abandon, and he takes little time between serves.

In the third set, he fell into a lethargy so deep, his snoring was louder than the impact of balls off the rackets.  Suddenly, with Djokovic's tires squeaking over his back, Tsonga regained the full-on energy that had fed him in the hair-raising first set.  He drew even with sweeping flat forehands and monster serves, peppering in some sweet drop shots.  Djokovic covers the court like a hoarder at a flea market; it is not easy to fiind spots to land the ball.  But this is what he did.  He took the set in a tie-break.

As I started this piece, I knew I couldn't get out five lines without one player getting to 2-0.  I thought it would be Djokovic.  I had barely spit out three lines and it was 3-0, Djokovic.  But as in the Federer match, Tsonga swings, lays out, gives a lie to the maxim that 210 men can't dig out 110 degree shots  and has gotten back one game to get the score to 5-3.

To catch up. Djokovic is serving for the fourth set and the match, which, if he wins it, will push him to world ranking of number one.  He has wanted this all his life.

He's serving at 40-15, match point now. No sound is heard because the crowd has shifted its loyalty capriciously from the underdog to the winning side: they clap rhythmically for Djokovic to finish Tsonga off.

In the time I think the word, Djokovic has thrown the ball up, struck it, homed it into the service court.  Tsonga swings and slaps it into the net.

Djo beats Jo.  The last of the new trees falls.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Khan the new players do it at Wimbledon?

As I write, four unlikely players line up against the top 4 men at Wimbledon.  Two have morning slots: Jean-Wilfried Tsonga and Bernard Tomic.  Tsonga is playing the third-seeded Federer while Tomic, an unseeded eighteen year old Australian, faces second-seeded Novak Djokovic of Croatia.

Tsonga has just won the third set at 6-4 after Federer's earlier domination, 6-3, 7-6.  Tsonga's forehand and serve have been parachuted down to Centre Court, just in time.  He moves with fluidity and an easy bounce, his feet getting set just before striking the ball.  In his native France he's likened to Mohammed Ali: the same focused face riding on solid shoulders.  He and Federer split two games for 1-1 in the third.  Tsonga has the lead at 40-30, break-point ... ah, he just broke serve for 2-1.

Tomic and Djokovic have scored in the opposite order, with the younger player winning the first sets.  In the third, the balls Djokovic has been hitting have been floating  langorously, leisurely over the net, matching the strokes Tomic had used from the start.  He adjusted in veteran fashion and changed the nature of the match at the time

NBC has not chosen to update the Tomic match in a half-hour.

Later, Mardy Fish, a US veteran of 29 and a late bloomer, will take on Rafael Nadal, who is ranked #1 in the world and seeded first here.  Fish awoke, he says, in the last several years to a new sense of maturity and began to play seriously.   It has paid off; he's #10 in the world.

The last match of the day is a battle between Andy Murray and  Feliciano Lopez of Spain.  Murray carries the pressure of representing the hopes of Great Britain to capture the men's Wimbledon championship for the first time in seventy-five years.  Fred Perry, a man whose name was an endorsement on polo shirts 50 years ago, was the last native man to win the tournament.  The joke out of England is that he's called an Englishman when he wins and a Scot when he loses.

Tsonga won the third set, 6-4, and now is serving for the fourth step.  NBC commentators had set up the match by speculating whether he would take a single set from Federer.  The question now in play is whether -- Tsonga having just won his serve and the fourth set -- Federer will win the single set he must win to secure the win.

Still no word on Tomic.  I suspect Djokovic must be sqashing him.  Or NBC is maintaining sole focus on the match here.

The greatest thing about Wimbledon this year is that the top four men's players could reach the semifinals.  Then again, four players (given that the momentary blackout of Tomic-Djokovic means nothing) that don't leap off the tongue, reach the semis, one of them getting their name on the clunky gold Edwardian jug.

Tsonga served perfectly in the opening game for 1-0, has just broken Federer for 2-0 and stands at 40-0 in the third game, second serve ... double-fault ... oops, out ... Federer breaks.  Now this could go either way.  Seriously, Federer just needs a scintilla of fire and whoosh!!

But not today, not so much.   And Tomic, and why they haven't referred to him, Djokovic did squash him.  All pretty prophesies in shreds.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Devil Khandoit


Works of the Devil: the Division of Labor in Hell      

The Devil doesn’t work too hard.  Anytime this is called sloth, He is pleased.   One key to the Devil’s relaxed state is that He is satisfied with handsome chance to capture a human soul. With almost no effort, He gets a crack at sixteen percent of humankind for his eternal pleasure.  Let’s break down this sixteen percent, classifying the candidates into smaller groups according to their qualifications.

Eight per cent of souls dwell in people who are simply evil.   At their arrival the Devil breathes deeply, absorbing their putrid breath with his eyes widened.  He feels the blood rush of his destiny; his sense of purpose comes flying back to him like a falcon to the falconer.  

On earth, the truly evil are rarely spotted: their powers of manipulation, the way they replicate the faces of cordiality, grief and empathy take in ordinary people.  Evil souls work particularly well on people who claim to be particularly keen or sensitive.

Another 7% include the agnostic (or ‘Confused’), Buddhists, fanatics and corporate executives. Of these, more in a moment. 

Atheists make up the last fraction, the last 1%.   Dealing with them involves a logical black hole because no one in Heaven believes in them.  What’s more, if Celestial Functionaries uncovered their existence, they would not be welcome at the Gates, for there is to be no philosophizing in Heaven: answers relevant to matters once important on earth, under the sea and in the air, were provided in the Original Operating Manual.  A stray atheist could produce a fatal crack in the Celestial Aether.

The three groups account an overall sixteen per cent:  His arithmetic is a shade off, but the Devil is not into details.  In the form of a fraction of mortal souls, the Devil claims a share of one-sixth (a repeating decimal of 01666etc. or 16.667 for short).

St. Peter’s expert panel of saints (activated after the Second Council of Nicaea in 787AD) rule on the Confused and the Buddhists – Amida, OK; Tantra, no way! and Zen, depends.  Fanatics are treated case-by-case.  Where the snake-handling or phrases such as ‘eternal fricasee’ are de riqueur, Heaven rules against.  Corporate executives are judged by the panel regarding their fitness for Heaven, with an average drop rate of 7 in 10.

All immigrants to Hell present their credentials at the customs house next to the Gates of Hell.  Due to Heaven’s very generous measuring stick, a small number of the dead are presented to Customs at the Bakin’ Ranch.  Even as they check in bearing their earthly baggage, permanent guests get an invitation to the Devil’s Ball.

The Atheist deserves comment. As a thoroughgoing non-believer, he or she has several options.  Oblivious to the processing experience, she can return to Earth or another planet in an infant state with a clean sheet, or based on native disposition can resume a earthly path whether in scientific accomplishment, central banking, elite military status or as an archaeologist.  Or – and this serves the Devil well – the individual can make ad-hoc contracts with Hell for work on Earth.  The Atheist may at his discretion also attend the Devil’s Ball.

Despite the small increments by which Hell grows, the Devil’s domain, His Wretched Ranch, reaches its metaphysical limits from time to time.  To get more space, He has to petition Heaven.  After an eternity of rounds, He has tired of the ritualistic bargaining with the bureaucrats from the office of the Archangelic Real Estate Commission.  His trusted atheists cannot be his proxy.

This week, from the brilliant ruminations of his broiling brain the Devil has again shown why he is the Boss of Bosses, the King of Kaka, the Sultan of Sloth.  He will use the resources to hand to solve two of his three annoyances at the same time.   The basic simplicity of the answer requires us to understand the work processes, talent, and incentives that lie beneath the Division of Labor in Hell.   When changes are made, it melts a little cotton-candy cloud in the heavens – a small bonus.  The key stratagem will be vetting the Morally Dubious at the Devil’s weekly Bouncing Ball.

The group will be regaled by the sweetly chaotic music the band pukes out.  They’ll mingle with the standard ugly souls, eat delicacies of the underworld and drink flaming cocktails while they bellow over the music.  The ebullient will socialize widely from the start of the party; the shy will gain confidence.  The Devil’s devious will focus on the guests who are too genuine or pure or earnest.  Milder attendees might drink too little but and fail the simple tests set out at the party; they’ll stick out by asking that the music be turned down or attaching to a single person

Selfish and boorish guests among the Morally Dubious will grade out as successful Hellions and receive a promotion to full citizens of Hell.  The Devil foresees that the best of the worst will turn over tables, mouth off to the band, mob the bars and try to break up couples that have been forming during the event.    For someone who sincerely misbehaves at the ball, Hell has a career path. 

Such a soul is a godsend in solving the one of the Devil’s current problems: real-estate acquisition.  For some weakness survives in every soul.  Equipped with finer skills of deception but cloaked in modesty, the corrupt soul can present himself to St. Peter’s Land Commission as a lamentably lost lamb while hiding an aggressive hidden agende. Such a miscreant will come out of the meeting with handsome gains the Commission will charitable and fairly dealt with.

The second problem has two dimensions: maintaining the Devil’s cred and keeping spirits up in his domain.  Whenever his reputation suffers as a result of land negotiations, the Devil wants to reinforce his reputation as a Hell-raiser and as a Punisher. 

Middle management has historically assumed most of the charge for the suite of punishments and humiliations, and with the new blood of the perverted being infused regularly into Hell, degradation always takes new forms. Often, Managers act on imaginative ideas from individual Hellions.  

Vacations get approved swiftly, from select Heavenly locations for the advanced to drop-ins at malls and NHL games.  This philosophy, in the opinion of the Devil, further demonstrates the superiority of Hell.  A new twist is the working vacation.  Rising supervisors may choose to visit such places as Omaha, Singapore, and Brussels to disrupt their orderly operations.

The Devil has always looked to reward the crackerjack red souls.  Any steady job would be little compensation for a job ill-done on earth: for boredom itself is used on the patrons as a part of the torment used on the Morally Weak.  The evil sould be occupied with a continuing variety of tasks, the chance to innovate and a regular change in career stimulate the resident in Hell; here the two Afterworlds differ completely.  A distinguishing characteristic of Hell is this emphasis on quality of life: work and play provide variety. .

Germinating these ideas has taken more effort from the Devil than he likes.   Millennia ago, when He wore the hats of both Chief Operating Officer and Chief Executing Officer, every day was both fruitful and exciting.  He now has designees in both offices.  In keeping with His personal management ideas – generated in the late three millions BC (this mode of telling time is repulsive but convenient) – the Officers have immediate reports that work on the firing lines. 

Despite the mental strain involved in changing policies and procedures, the Devil has experienced a momentary flush of the old excitement He felt during hands-on direction of the Excremental Empire.  Revisiting the many contours of his domain must be done more often, He thinks. 
.
Changes are coming at a millennial rate: anything could happen at anytime.  Whenever something does, we will bring you more news.

Yours sincerely,
Teddie von Teufel